Owenland Park Productions: When they are little, they step on your toes

Little Wy loves Jack's trains. Every moment of every waking hour must be spent with a train in at least one of his little hands. OK, that isn't quite true: he will drop all trains for food. He loves these trains and I do not know if it is because he just loves them or if it is because Jack loves them or it if is a little bit of both. Any way you look at it, he just loves trains. Mom sometimes brings home a shopping bag with a "prize" for each of the boys. Jack will pull out something of the Thomas the Tank Engine family. Wy will pull out some little pack of cars or trucks. He will play with them for a moment, but then it is all about the trains.

He is also a lover of books. Hopefully I have a bit of influence there as I read all the time. Wy will grab one of his books, (you already knew it was a Thomas book, right?) and crawl up into someone's lap. He wants a book read to him before you even kiss him good morning. He wants a book read to him before you kiss him good night. He wants a book in bed with him. And all he says is "car!"

Jack is starting to tell long involved stories, stories I don't even try to understand even

though I ask questions at every turn. (I might have a chance at understanding if he would ANSWER a question, he just keeps telling stories.) "He's scared. (Who's scared?) He's dancing in a water. (Who's dancing in the water?) He's so happy in a sky. (Is Jack in the sky?) He sees a bird flying, mommy. (I see it too, that is a pretty bird.) He likes a frieght car. (Frieght cars are nice, honey.) Henry he's so pretty and green. (Mommy loves green.) He goes crash and closes his eyes. (I would close my eyes if I went crash, baby.) He loves a peaches and climb a stairs. He's playing in the water and fly away into the sky. The story goes on, but it wanders and I have no idea what it is about. At least he is cultivating a vivid imagination!

OK - serious business here folks: the other day Jack was in the bathroom at Aunt Beth's house. Wyatt decided to join his big brother. Just as Wy came in is when Jack was done with his business and stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door all the way 'locking' Wyatt inside. (I say locking because Wy can't work a doorknob, yo.) Jack immediately ran off. Wy became upset. I asked Jack repeatedly to come back and open the door. Now I'm sort of stuck in a dilema. Do I let Wy wait it out while I track down Jack? Do I let Jack 'go' and get Wyatt out of the bathroom? I picked option B. Then every time I got near Jack, he ran off in the other direction. I gave him a warning that if he didn't come to me to talk he would go into time out. Well, he didn't come to me so I snapped him up and set him on the naughty step. I explained he was in time out because he kept running away from me but also for closing Wy in the bathroom.

As I'm talking to him, this very large tear develops in the corner of his left eye. Whenever he gets upset or starts a meltdown I always talk to him calmly and tell him softly to "take a breath." So I looked at him and said "take a breath" and his chin started to quiver but I saw him buck up. He actually sat up straighter and put his chin up a bit. And this tear just hung suspended at the crest of his eyelid, stubbornly refusing to fall. That is when I just about fell apart. I start chasing my tail in my mind "How horrible: I'm teaching him that it isn't ok to cry. No, I think I'm teaching him how to handle it when he is upset. He's just a little guy and he shouldn't have to buck up, but if I don't help him learn how to handle his emotions then what good am I?" I feel so bad that I wanted to let him out of time out - but that would do no good either. Let me tell you, it didn't stop there. I spent the rest of the day brewing over whether I'm helping him or not.

As I was telling all of this to John I start thinking that if I can't handle this when he is 3, what in God's name am I going to do when he is 10, 15, 2o... And then I think about my mama telling me "When they are little, they step on your toes. When they are bigger, the step on your heart." And if this is how it feels when my toes are being stepped on, I don't want to know how it feels when it happens to my heart.