All the kids came out to see the Little House on the Prairie last night and they had a great time. Connie is still asking when she will get a turn to come to the theatre with me - though it hasn't been in the form of badgering, whining or tantruming this week. She doesn't want to come with everyone else, she wants it to be just the two of us and I understand that. She really wants to have her turn today, but I just can't wrangle her and a double header Saturday. (This is the beginning of our Christmas show work week with 12 shows a week - up from 10 - meaning double headers on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Due to how the holidays fall this year, we even have two double header Sundays. I really shouldn't complain about that - folks everywhere do double headers on Sundays, but I am SPOILED ROTTEN at the Coterie.) Anyway, I will talk to Connie about coming with me tomorrow.
Mom has a counselling program through work that we have been taking advantage of in the last few months. The woman we are talking to has recommended we try using 1-2-3 Magic with the kids. It is a system that helps adults identify Stop behavior (badgering, whining, tantruming etc.) and Start behavior (cleaning, homework, going to bed etc.) and how to get kids to stop or start those behaviors.
Jack went to a counseling appointment with me this past week and he was so well behaved that I took him to his beloved K-Mart for a new Thomas train. We were walking down the aisle when...well, I'll just give you the instant replay:
Jack: Look, Mommy. It's a damn CRACKER.
Mommy: Excuse me?
Jack: It's a damn cracker.
Mommy: What did you say?
Jack: I said "It's a damn cracker!"
Mommy: Where?
Jack: Right vere. (He really could have said "DUH")
Mommy: OH - you mean the nut cracker? (As in the wooden Christmas-soldier-nut-cracker-guy.)
Jack: Oh - vat's right! It's not a DAMN CRACKER!
(Meanwhile, I am looking around to see if anyone is judging me and what might be going on in my home.)
Mom & I have picked up a few copies of the 1-2-3 Magic book that the counselor recommended. Beth has offered to implement the system at her house. I have just finished reading the first half of the book, which discusses handling Stop behavior. There are 2 rules for parents in dealing with Stop behavior - 1. NO TALKING and 2. NO EMOTION. If you count one of the kids for running in the house you simply say "That's 1" and you do not say anything else unless you know they have no idea why you counted them - then you could say "For running" and that's it. Once they get to a count of 3, they get a time out with mom or dad saying "That's 3, time out" and NOTHING else. If they don't go to their room or the time out spot, you carry them but say nothing. And when time out is over - you tell them they are done and you do not discuss why they were sent to time out unless it was truly warrants a discussion.
The whole thing is rather fascinating. It puts the pressure on adults to let the kids figure out why they are in trouble and decide to shape up instead of parents going blue in the face (or red from frustration and anger) explaining all the reasons behavior is inappropriate. There is more to it all, but this is a blog and I don't want y'all to glaze over. Anyway, I started counting the kids this week and I swear my life has been near bliss with peace in my heart and head. Once I decided to SHUT THE HELL UP and let the kids figure out what they are doing wrong instead of going on and on and...
Well, if these kids can fill John's big shoes, maybe I can be hush and help usher some peace, quiet and more effective discipline into our Not-So-Little House in Overland Park.
Love and blessings,
Owenland Park
1 comments:
Love love love the damn cracker story...
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