Concession Speech

Friends-

I must apologize for my tardiness in getting this message to you, but I had no choice. I write to you now from an undisclosed location as I am in hiding. I know that must sound odd to you, but you have no idea of the enormity of this situation. I am sure you are unaware of the shocking displays of prejudice at the polls on Tuesday. Ladies and Gentlemen, Zombies were turned away from each and every voting booth in the country. When the Zombies learned they were not going to be able to vote in this historical election they galvanized and set out for my house. They picked up more and more Zombies as they made their way slowly across the country, state, county, city and finally into my neighborhood. The Zombies were just down the street when we truly understood they had turned against us. Fortunately my family had time to pack and make a few plans for getting safely away before the undead made it half way down the block. Please know that we are safe. Please do no try to find us. We will find you when the coast is clear.

You may think this unfortunate turn of events has turned me against Zombies. Not so, friends, not so. What kind of country are we living in when a dead man is not allowed to vote? I will not give up the fight for Zombie rights. I know the Zombies will not rest until they can vote, adopt babies, get married and set up e-bay and face book accounts just like the rest of us. You can rest assured that I will not rest until Zombies are granted these rights and are able to rest in peace!

Now, I feel I must take a moment to congratulate Senator Obama on his victory after this long campaign. Congratulations, Senator Obama. (One-thousand-one, one-thousand-two, moment over.) I thank the many people who supported my campaign and I offer my condolences to the McCain campaign-in-my - excuse me, to the McCain campaign. Normally I would take a few minutes to talk about how great Barack is and how I plan to support him and his administration, but I can't be online too long: the Zombies are tracing my connection as I write...they are very technologically advanced, you know.

Unfortunately our campaign didn't get us into the White House and that is something I, you, we are going to have to accept. And so I ask that you not go out and start up riots on behalf of the Zombie community or against the Zombies on my behalf. Instead I ask that you consider this simple prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Friends - we can make a difference, if we just keep fighting the good fight. God bless you all and remember, Zombies are people too.

With serenity, courage and wisdom:
My name is Amy M. Abels Owen and I approve this message.